Yesterday was one of those days. My to-do list seemed so long I didn’t know where to start. I hadn’t slept really well. I felt both restless and useless. I did the morning chores, did my PT stretches and took Dory for a walk/run at the state park.
When I got home I wandered aimlessly, knowing that I had umpteen things to do and but not wanting to do any of them.
This is when Discipline comes into play, right? I hate that word – it smacks of smackings and anger. But it has it’s purposes. “Okay Kelly – time to be disciplined. Here’s the deal – make two wreaths, finish making and ironing the guestroom curtains, and prepare dinner. Go get it done!”
Number one on the to-do list – make wreaths. I like to make wreaths in the field, it means one less mess for me to clean up. Bonnie and Dizzy happily eat the leaves, versus me collecting them and moving them. I cut a bunch of vines, threw them over the fence, tucked the nippers into my jacket pocket, grabbed a five gallon bucket and jumped over the fence.
I seated myself on the overturned bucket and began to cut off golden grape leaves. Within seconds Bonnie left her birch tree bed and ran up to me, Dizzy chasing her.
According to Hobbes, of Calvin and Hobbes fame, animals have words for smells – brumbly being one of them. I wish had Hobbes’ words. The oily grassy dirty furry smell of Bonnie could be bottled and sold. Forget lavender as aromatherapy for relaxation, Bottled Bovine would fly off the shelf. I can’t quite say what that despondent feeling had been about, but with every breath, inhaling deeply, I felt myself melting, relaxing, forgetting about the to-do list and becoming present, finding myself right here – in the moment, in that space that doesn’t hold overwhelming to-do lists, doesn’t hold impatience, doesn’t hold discouragement, doesn’t hold despondency.
Dizzy began to nibble on me. First my pant legs, then my sleeves, then my hair and head. I pulled her close and hugged her, rubbing my lips on her wiry mane, then on her velvet muzzle – every last knot of tension gone. Equine Elixir?
As far as wreath-making – the Critters can be a real pain. After munching leaves for a while Bonnie wanted to play. Pushing on me, pushing on the bucket. Trying to rub her head on my wreath-making hands. Trying to grab the wreath I was working on. A few minutes of ignoring her and she grew bored and wandered off to graze.
Dizzy is happiest when people are her height, she wasn’t letting this moment pass. She continued to nuzzle and nibble me, occasionally grabbing a leaf to eat. I did get my two wreaths made, but the second one is probably not sellable. Too many Dizzy distractions and interferences.
I stuck to my plan and finished the wreaths then my guest room sewing project. And dinner – a standing rib roast, white beans with garlic and rosemary, and brussels sprouts roasted with garlic and onion, and of course, a bowlful of cherry tomatoes.