Injuries – Chapter One

 

Believe it or not

The other day I found myself in the funniest spot,

I’d gone out to see the pig,

He lived in a pen that wasn’t too big.

He liked to hide

his water dish inside

so I knelt down and climbed in.

Slam! Bang! Locked in!

I turned the dish over and sat down

To see if escape could be found.

Sitting in a pig pen on a hot summer’s day

Gives one’s mind time to stray.

I found myself thinking of all the strange things

That had happened to me – bumps, bruises, and bings!

I guess the problem started when I was just three,

A stone wall collapsed and fell on me.

My nose was crushed- squished nice and flat,

The line at the er was long so we left it like that!

When I was five or six I got a shiner – big and blue.

I was taking off my shirt, got stuck, and ran into the bar,

It’s lucky I don’t have a scar!

My eye swelled shut

And my eyebrow had a nice cut.

But that was nothing compared to my toe.

That’s another story you should know.

I was what- maybe seven?

My brothers had a game “Pingball Heaven”

A game for boys,

My sister and I didn’t need toys.

She was my horse, bucking and rearing;

I was holding tight, laughing, not hearing

My mother yelled, “Be careful – you’ll kick the game!”

I kicked the game with perfect aim.

The backboard slid right between my bare toes

And sliced how deep? God only knows.

My mother wrapped my foot up tight

I was glad the mess was out of sight.

My sister felt pretty bad

But that wasn’t the end of the trouble we had

Not long after we went for a swim

She thought it would be funny to push me in.

I began to vomit, to puke, to throw!

My stomach said NO NO NO!

Then came a problem of a different type –

I am allergic to some things that bite.

I was sitting on the grass, the church lawn, in fact,

When a troop of red ants began to attack.

Ok – maybe it was just one or two,

But what did my whole leg do?

It puffed up like a balloon

In a cartoon.

I should tell you about bee stings too,

But I just remembered that splinter in my thigh – ewww..

I was walking past a window and out of the wood

A splinter came off and went in as deep as it could.

My mother couldn’t get it out with tweezers or pin

So  off to the doctors we went again.

He had to cut my leg to pull it out – ta da!

He gave me the splinter in a little jar.

It was two and a half inches long-

Exactly the size of a toothpick if I am not wrong!

That poor leg- it’s had its share of trouble,

When I ran cross country a muscle burst like a bubble.

From hip to knee something gave way.

All puffed up and purple – glad that mess didn’t stay.

Speaking of bruises, there was another I had,

When that pony threw me – now that was BAD.

We, Greyghost and I, were taking a nice Sunday ride

On an old, dirt road, forest on each side.

Some baby partridges ran across the road,

Oh, their mother did scold.

Then she saw us, between them and her,

She attacked in a blur.

Greyghost rocked, bolted  – pitch! pitch!

I landed on a rock in the ditch.

From belly button round back to spine

From knee to shoulder – all the color of red wine.

Well… this is only chapter one

I’ll share chapter two when it’s done!